#also this story is not new but it's sad and bittersweet and throws in the what ifs and what could have beens

[redge]

This has been on my draft since September, wayback when I did not know how Oshi no Ko's story will progress. So the setting of this story is after chapter 159.

While other OnK readers absolutely believe that Aqua likes Kana or that them ending up together is endgame, I am one who won't believe anything unless the character says it himself or until the story is concluded. It's just that, I've seen this built-up chemistry for so many times, a short-haired-not-main-character girl falling for the main character, but never ending up together. I don't write stories, but if my favourite OnK character will end up in an "unrequited" love, here's my prompt. It's somehow inspired by them.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Scenario: Ruby successfully had a solo tour concluded at Tokyo Dome. A congratulatory party is being held and former members of B-Komachi were invited, Kana included. Amidst the busy party, Kana finds herself at the balcony, Aqua approaches.

Kana: Isn't this familiar?

Aqua: What is?

Kana: When we were preparing for JIF, we were also at the balcony. Only difference is you're here as you are and not disguising as Pieyon.

Aqua: You're right.

Kana: I briefly remember you telling me all sort of things I haven't said to anyone about and that you were my fan. Were you, Aqua?

Aqua: I am still a fan.

Kana: That feels nice, finally hearing it without a mask.

Aqua: ...

*Kana drops her keys*

*Aqua kneels down and picks it up*

Kana: Haha! This also looks familiar! Remember how you knelt down at the playground and persuaded me to become an idol?

*Aqua stands up, keys still in his hand*

Aqua: That sure feels like ages ago.

Kana: My logic was telling me back then that "no" was the only possible answer to that offer but I saw potential on Ruby right there and then. Come to think of it, I even thought of her having similarities with Ai-san, even without knowing yet that she's your mother.

*Kana gazes at Ruby as she is being surrounded by influential people from the industry congratulating her on the success of her solo tour*

Kana: Ruby is really meant to be an idol.

Aqua: It was her dream, and Ai's dream for her.

Kana: What about your dream? How is medical school going?

Aqua: I'm now a resident in the nearby hospital.

Kana: Really?! Good for you, Aqua! Never once doubted you! I was sure you'll be able to fulfill your dream of being a doctor.

Aqua: ... By the way, I saw your latest movie.

Kana: You did? I was good right?

Aqua: You've always been good at acting.

*Kana laughs proudly*

Aqua: ... In the end, I was not able to watch your graduation concert last time. I'm sorry.

Kana: I noticed. But don't worry about it. There were so many things that happened that time. It can't be helped. I'm just glad we were able to conclude that tour without trouble.

Aqua: But if I did, I would have...

*Aqua gets cut by a guy who approached Kana*

Kana: Is it time already?

*the guy nods*

Kana: I'm sorry, Aqua. We have to go.

*Aqua lost in his own thoughts*

Kana: Hey, would you mind handing me my keys?

*Aqua forgot that he's still holding the keys. When he opened his hand, he noticed the keychains were a glove catching a ball, and the word "dream"*

And in a split second, everything flashed in his mind. That first catch ball with Kana. The second time where they talked about their future plans and dreams.

Kana: Aqua?

Aqua: I'm sorry. Here you go.

Kana: Thank you. It was nice catching up with you.

*Kana walks a way, her hand being held by the guy*

Memcho passed by as Kana was leaving. Kana said her goodbye as they had other commitment to attend to. Memcho approached Aqua at the balcony.

Memcho: Kana left already.

Aqua: "Ah-kun". It's funny. I never cared for it too much, but it's a bittersweet feeling to hear Arima call me as Aqua. Just Aqua.

Memcho remembered how happy Kana was when she started calling Aqua "Ah-kun". It was something that belonged to Kana and Aqua, and now it's gone.

Memcho places her arm in Aqua's shoulder, leaning her head towards Aqua and silently comforting him. Kana and Aqua are two dear friends she watched closely. Memcho knows that Kana likes Aqua from the time they went home after JIF. And she knows that Aqua cares a lot for Kana which is why he distanced himself from Kana in order to protect her. So many things could have been said but it's too late.

The party ended and they went home. Aqua headed to his room. He sat on his bed, sitting idly, staring at the corner of his room. He then noticed the luggage that he and Kana bought. He pulled out the luggage, opened it, and brought out what's inside, one by one.

The script to "I'll Go With Sweet Today" where in he got to act with Kana again. A stack of books with trivial contents, the same books Kana likes to read. The umbrella that Kana placed over him when he was drenched in the rain, after accidentally hurting Kana. The hat that Kana left on the street as she was running away from the reporter. Kana's white glowstick. He picks up the glowstick and thought of that concert that he missed. He would have waved this glowstick for Kana. Her dream was for him to look at her not knowing that her dream already came true. But it's too late now. That time is gone and he already lost the opportunity to say anything. He returns everything inside the luggage, slowly closing it down and kept it again in the corner of his room, just as how he kept his feelings in the corner of his heart.

***

Kana: That was nostalgic.

The guy: Are you still...towards Aqua...

Kana: Oh no, not anymore! Though I won't deny the fact that a huge part of my youth was seriously in love with him.

Kana picks up her keys from her purse, and caught a glimpse of her keychains- a glove catching a ball, and the word "dream".

Kana: Ah-kun was my dream. But some dreams were just not meant to be realized.

☆ ☆ ☆ end ☆ ☆ ☆

[lenievi]

My fave spones fics

It's spones day!, so I decided to finally publish this extremely subjective short list I wrote years ago (hence no new fics). If a link doesn't work, put it through a wayback machine.

---

TOS McCoy/Spock romance, friendship, anything in between

A Man of Integrity by Jane Carnall. M. 18k. A mirror ‘verse story. Spock didn’t mind meld with McCoy, but kept him for long enough that the rest left without him. Will McCoy get back home? Written in 1989. (ao3)

Blue Under the Colourless Sky by vail-kagami (LJ). T. 4k. This. was. so. good. And melancholic. And bittersweet. And saying more would spoil it. (death is discussed)

Catharsis by babel. E. 40k+ still WIP. This is all I ever wanted from a McCoy/Spock fic. Follows season 1 of TOS. What if Spock and McCoy had an arrangement.

Coming Through in Waves by Cirth. T. 6k. “Spock dislikes doctors.” This was just lovely. A great character study from Spock’s POV. Includes room sharing and bathroom sharing. 

Deepening of the Spirit by lynndyre. G. 1k. A short fic set after the last film. Sweet and warm, finally getting together after all those years.

Distances series by berlynn_wohl. G-E. 54k. The first story is pre-slash and can be read as a standalone mission fic. A nice series spanning years. Written in 2007.

Down The Long Corridors Of Air by Thistlerose. T. 7k. This is another fic that demonstrates quite well what I like in the pairing. “A circle has no end. Spock and McCoy over the years.” Spoilers up to ST VII. Written in 2009.

Further Study Needed by J. Rosemary Moss. G. 2k. Cute pre-canon fic. McCoy tries to teach Spock how to flirt. Pre-slash. Written in 2008.

My Little Town by Phoenix. M. 8k. Post-movies. McCoy’s mother dies, and McCoy goes back to Earth to sell the old house. Spock accompanies him. A bit sad, melancholic story where the two of them finally stop avoiding what’s between them.

something bright, traveling fast by lupinely. G. 7k. “After fal-tor-pan, Spock considers existence.“ Movie-era, really lovely.

Spock of Baker Street by K. V. Wylie. M. 18k. Crossover with Doctor Who. The Guardian of Forever “kidnaps” Spock and McCoy, and throws them into late 19th century Britain. They meet a guy named Arthur, and live at Baker Street. And investigate a murder. Established relationship.

Teshuvah by K. V. Wylie. PG. 20k. A reincarnation AU - i.e. McCoy gets to relive his life again.

The Secrets of Pine Cones by K. V. Wylie. PG. 9k. Movie-era. Married Mc/S. McCoy is observing Ramadan, and this year, after many years spend together, Spock stays at home and keeps him company for the first time. A very lovely fic, written from Spock’s POV.

Through A Glass, Darkly by Jane Carnall. M. 67k. mirror ‘verse. pon farr. mind bond. Written in 1988. (on ao3: prime spones part and the mirror spones 3-parter)

AOS McCoy/Spock

This Must Be The Place by therev. M. 38k. Spock learns that Spock Prime and his Leonard McCoy were in a relationship, and... This was one of the first mc/s fics I read, and it’s still among my favourites. It also showed me that aos!mccoy/spock could work. The mood is a bit melancholic (and perhaps a bit slice-of-life-ish), it’s set post-Beyond, and it has Joanna.

---

also older spones fics recs (i.e. written before the reboot)

[paperclipninja]

Seeing everyone's reactions to the Good Omens news, I think I'm feeling some version of them all concurrently. And I know throwing my 2c into the basket is neither here nor there, but I've popped some rambling thoughts under the cut.

First off I want to be really clear: obviously the people truly impacted are the victims of NG's behaviour and that is first and foremost. This is not intended to erase or diminish that, I am distinguishing broader impact from impact on the show here intentionally, even though they are inherently entwined, but want to acknowledge that right off the bat.

This whirlwind of finding out about the allegations, to hearing that the show was paused, to assuming it was cancelled, to wanting it not to be cancelled but not wanting NG to be a part of it, to not being sure how that would happen, to being hopeful, to hearing it is back on sans creep but a movie, to hearing it's a series, to getting confirmation it's a 90 minute movie, to finding out that not even a month ago we were, in fact, getting nothing. It's been a lot.

And I managed to convince myself that if it's cancelled, well then the fandom will live on forever - creating, imagining and determined to continue this story and give these characters the varied and many endings and stories they deserve. Believe me, nothing binds a fandom like an unfinished story.

And then I heard that a movie, then a third series, was going ahead and took that to mean NG was no longer involved and thought ok, it's going to look a bit different probably but that's ok. We will still get a 6 episode resolution on screen, an ending that is canon and ties up all the things and we can enjoy that and all it brings and then, probably have lots of mixed feelings about how it's all tied up, then eventually, probably, start to move on.

And now we have actual confirmation that it's a 90 minute movie, NG properly removed other than some script contribution and it's somehow more than I expected and not enough, and a relief and heart-breaking all at once.

And I have been reflecting and thinking about it all morning and realised that for me, this is a funny, bittersweet kind of middle ground that sort of allows two things to happen: we get a resolution on screen, we get to see these characters we love so dearly together once more and for their story to play out to some kind of conclusion. But we will also have to create and imagine and determine what happens with all that we won't get to see now.

Am I sad that there will be many aspects of the story we will probably never get (thinking of more flashbacks in particular)? Absolutely. But the other thing that often happens when a show ends is that after a while, without the need to speculate or theorise or imagine what could have been, fandoms plateau (that's not to say people don't continue to create and love the characters and show, especially something like Good Omens, but generally, in my experience, the level of engagement will peter off over time without new content, especially if everything is wrapped up nicely with a bow). The compulsion to create endings and resolutions is often diminished once an ending and resolution has been established.

So I realised that we find ourselves in a rather unique position. We will get a resolution of sorts, but all those bits we will never get to see will become the source of speculation and stories and art and theories and what could have been, and it will become ours to imagine and create time and time again. I think that the collective experience of all of this, along with the need to fill in the gaps, might actually keep the many talented creators in this fandom inspired and the rest of us engaged and bound together in a way we may not have been otherwise.

This is obviously just my take and where I currently sit on all this - there is no right or wrong way to feel, engage or move forward from here. The beauty of fandom, especially one as big as ours, is that everyone can find their pocket, connect with those who bring comfort and validation, and proceed in a way that works for you.

I adore this fandom, the people I have met and the unbelievable content and fandom works that come out of it. It is truly unlike anything I've ever been a part of online and if nothing else, I am grateful for that. This was an indulgent little ramble, perhaps it might bring some solace or make you want to throw things at me, and that's ok. We're in it together.

[do-it-jakey-baby]

An Unlikely Encounter

Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Warnings: drinking, profanity, mentions of emotional abuse, angst, heartbreak (sorry if I’ve missed anything)

18+, MINORS DNI

TAGLIST: @torniturntomyarrow @ignite-my-fire @hollyco @fleetingjake

A/N: This is most likely the last full chapter, with an epilogue to come later. This was my first ever fic, and I’m going to be so sad to see the story end. Thank you to everyone who has supported this series, I appreciate each and every one of you!

Chapter 9

A flurry of tears, dripping like a torrential storm onto hot asphalt. Not being able to get a grip of your emotions was taking its toll as you tossed and turned in Sam’s guest room.

Were you leaving?

Had this come to its bittersweet end?

Truth be told, unconsciously you were just looking for an easy way out, not that you had realised that yet. Logic or rationality wasn’t your best friend, you always abandoned something when it got too difficult, never one to look past the struggle and discover the potential of a tricky situation. Your own mind was forever your downfall.

Deep down you knew you loved Jake, but you still believed that this was all too good to be true. You were scared of being hurt, of letting yourself open up too much to the point of no return. So, this was the easiest way to ensure that the hurt stayed minimal.

After an entire night of broken sleep, you made the decision.

You had to leave.

That morning, you broke the news to Kat. She had insisted on coming back with you, but you very firmly told her no. You knew she was enjoying her time with Sam and didn’t want to come in between that. Sam very graciously offered to collect your belongings from Jake’s place whilst he was out at the studio. You didn’t want to add any further insult to injury by letting him be present whilst you were leaving. Sam also offered to pay for your flight home, but you were adamant that this wouldn’t become his issue.

So there you were, being dropped off at the airport, sharing a teary goodbye with your best friend.

She wipes a stray tear from your cheek. “I’ll be home soon, baby girl. I promise.”

Sam approaches you, his arms outstretched. ‘Don’t be a stranger, Songbird.”

“Never.” You grin through the pain.

As you step into the airport, you hastily tap across your phone screen and bring it to your ear. You knew that this was the worst possible way to let someone know that you were leaving the country, but you took the cowards way out.

“Hey, Songbird. Everything ok?”

You take a deep breath. “Josh…” Your voice wobbles with the weight of your emotions. “I’m leaving.”

The line goes silent for a moment.

“No, no you’re not. Where are you? I’ll come and get you, we can talk about this.”

“I’m at the airport, I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”

“Songbird, please. Please don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I’ll text you when I’m back. I love you.”

“Y/N, wait, ple-”

Looking down at your phone as you press to end the call, you feel like screaming. Why were you doing this?

Your phone buzzes back to life again, an incoming call from Josh lighting up the screen. Finding it too painful to even look at, you opt to just turn your phone off. You make your way through the airport, checking your bag in and getting through security. The wait at the gate isn’t too long, then you’re boarding the plane. As the pilot prepares for takeoff, you switch your phone back on and place your headphones over your ears. You’re met with a flurry of notifications from Josh. You turn your phone onto airplane mode and open Spotify, watching out the window as Nashville slowly disappears from sight as you ascend into the clouds.

~

It’s been a few days since you’ve been back home in London, and you’ve barely looked at your phone since you left Nashville. Josh tries to call at least twice a day, and Jake has also reached out plenty of times. You peer down as your screen lights up, letting the seconds tick by until another missed call notification appears. You’re about to throw your phone face down beside you when another call comes through, this time from Kat. You suck in a breath and answer, bringing the phone up to your ear.

“Hey.”

“No, no! Back off!” She shouts, her voice muffled.

“Kat?…”

“Sorry, babe. I’ve got both Kiszka twins here fighting to speak to you.”

“Kat! I’m not ready to talk to them.”

“I know, I know. You don’t have to. They just begged me to try and get through, to make sure you’re ok.”

You remain silent, not knowing what to respond. You’d spent the past few days ignoring the situation, not wanting to come to terms with the reality of it.

“Are you ok?”

“Uh, no not really. I don’t know what I’m doing, Kat.”

“My flight back home is tomorrow, so we can talk when I’m back. I want you to be happy, baby girl. Whatever is going on, we can work it out.”

“I love you.” You whisper.

“I love you. I’ll see you soon. Please, look after yourself.”

Kat’s POV

“So?” Josh looks over at you from his seat, his eyes full of sorrow and worry.

“She’s not great, but she’ll be ok.”

Jake furiously rubs his hands over his face, pacing back and forth.

“I’m coming with you.”

“The hell you are!” You spit, extending your finger out at him and scowling. “She doesn’t want to see you, Jake.”

“I need to fix this!”

“You need to give her time to cool off. She takes off in situations like this, a legitimate flight risk. She’d rather pretend it’s not happening than face the music. I’ll talk to her, but you coming back with me is only going to make things worse.”

“I can’t lose her.” His lip wobbles as he collapses down onto the couch. “I’ve never felt this way about someone before.”

“I know she’s happy with you. Whatever makes her happy, makes me happy. I’ll talk to her, but you need to promise me that if she gives you another chance you wont fuck it up again, or I’ll come down on your ass like a tonne of bricks.”

“And me.” Josh pipes up from across the room.

“I’d be a fucking fool to get her back and lose her again.”

Your POV

Kat is due home in a few hours and you’ve spent the day cleaning her flat, ensuring that it’s in a decent state for when she’s back. It’s also the best way to distract yourself from your impending thoughts. You’ve been absentmindedly singing along to whatever song is on in the background whilst going about your chores, until a familiar song comes on which stops you in your tracks.

Songbird

You can’t stop the memories as they come flooding back into your head. The phone call with Josh when he first heard you sing, the car ride, the karaoke bar, Jake singing to you. The encouragement that these two men had given you was prominent in your mind, so instead of focusing on the pain, you whip your phone from your pocket and open a text thread that had been lying vacant for some time.

You: Hey Cass, long time no see. I wondered if you were still in London and fancied a catch up? I have a proposition for you.

It doesn’t take longer than five minutes for your phone to ping, your hands nervously reaching for it and swiping up on the notification.

Cassandra: Y/N! Wow, it’s been a while for sure. How are you doing? I am actually, and I’d love to catch up. I’m actually free tomorrow if that works?

You breathe a sigh of relief, twitching your thumbs and readying yourself to respond.

You: Life has been a bit crazy… Yeah, tomorrow works just fine. Meet you at our usual spot for around 12?

You get a text back confirming the time just as you hear the door unlock, signalling Kat’s return. She rushes up to you and envelopes you in a bear hug, squeezing you so tight you struggle to breathe.

“You know, you didn’t have to come home so soon.”

“Shut the fuck up, my best friend needed me. Besides, I couldn’t stand listening to the twins moping for another second.”

You grimace. “How are they?”

She purses her lips. “Not good. They wouldn’t leave Sam’s, so we got zero time together after you left. Babysitting two grown men isn’t fun, at all.”

“I’m so sorry, this is all my fault.”

“No, it’s not. But I do need you to walk me through your thought process. What’s going on up there?” She gestures to the couch, prompting you to take a seat. She walks over to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of rose, then retrieves two glasses from the cupboard and sits down next to you. She pours you both a glass, hands it to you, then tilts her head to the side.

You audibly sigh, taking a gulp from your glass. “I don’t know, I have no idea.”

“Dig a bit deeper. What are you afraid of?”

“Being hurt.”

“And you think Jake will hurt you?”

“No. I mean… I don’t know. I’d like to think he wouldn’t, but I still can’t understand why he wants to be involved with me. I’m a nobody.”

“Bingo. You’re still hung up on that? Babe, come on. Open your eyes, the guy is crazy about you. You’re right, he has the pick of the bunch. But he picked you.”

“What happens when I’m not good enough, or when he gets bored of me?”

“I don’t think he’d be pining for someone as much as he is if he was going to get bored of them. You’re self-sabotaging. Connor made you feel worthless, I know. But you aren’t, and he’s a piece of shit. Jake isn’t like him.”

You couldn’t argue with her logic, she always did have a good eye and you trusted her judgement more than anything else. She could smell bullshit a mile off, so if she believed in Jake, that had to mean something.

“Shit. What have I done?” You slump down further into the couch, feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders.

“Nothing that can’t be fixed.”

“And poor Josh. Fuck, I feel like such a dickhead.” You throw your head into your hands, finally coming to terms with the hurt that you yourself had caused. By running away and choosing ignorance, you’d hurt the two people that you cherished the most in this world, bar Kat.

“They’ll both be fine. They just want you back.”

~

The next day you’re making your way to the coffee shop that you had visited countless times before. You step out of the tube station, your final destination being just a five-minute walk away. You push through the door to find Cassandra sat in a booth a few rows in. She stands from her seat, walking towards you with outstretched arms.

“How have you been?” She asks as she pulls away.

“Up and down… how about you?”

“Busy.” She laughs. “Having free time is such a rarity these days.”

“So you decided to spend what little time you have free to see me?” You raise your eyebrow.

She ignores your comment, leaning forward to put her elbows on the table. “You still singing?”

“No, I stopped pretty much as soon as the band broke up…”

During your time at university, you’d been in a 4-piece band with Cassandra. It was going really well, until you met your ex. This led to a lot of conflict, due to his possessiveness, and ultimately the band decided to part ways.

“Babe, that’s a long time.”

“Yeah, I guess my confidence is pretty much non-existent. But I actually wanted to talk to you about that. I’ve had a change of heart, I want to get back out there.”

“Really… interesting. The funny thing is, I think we both came here with a secret agenda today, and they might just align. I’m in a new band, and we recently just lost our vocalist.”

Your eyes blow wide. “Cass… you can’t be serious?!”

“Deadly. You’re incredible, Y/N. I know they’d love you.”

“I was just thinking about jamming together, I don’t know if I can join a band. I’m way out of practise, with terrible stage fright!”

“We can move past that. Come on, what have you got to be afraid of?”

“Making a fool out of myself, in front of people.” You scoff.

“You won’t. You never have, so why would you now? Just think about it.”

~

“How was Cass?” Kat calls from the couch as you plod through the door.

“Yeah, she’s fine… she actually asked me to join her band.”

Her eyes widen as she snaps her head up from her phone to look at you. “What?! That’s amazing!”

“I’m not so sure…”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I know you want to get back out there again, and I know you can do this.”

“It’s been such a long time.” You sigh, slumping down onto the couch next to her.

“If you can sing a duet with the Josh Kiszka, you can sing in a band. You have to do this, you don’t want to look back and regret not taking this opportunity.”

Taking in a deep breath, you pull your phone from your pocket and open your iMessage thread with Cassandra.

You: I’m in.

Jake’s POV

It’s been weeks. Weeks since she left. Weeks with minimal contact. Weeks since your heart broke in two.

You didn’t know it could hurt like this. The pain that you physically felt in your chest was like a gunshot wound that would never heal.

Every text that she did send was blunt, not going into any sort of detail. She wouldn’t answer your calls, so you left a plethora of voicemails. You yearned to hear her voice again, to feel her against your skin. There was only one way you knew how to somewhat cope with situations like these, and that was by writing. So you wrote, you poured every feeling out onto paper, letting the words flow through ink. You spent countless nights, guitar in hand, building the melody to the lyrics. Then, one particular night that had you nursing too much whiskey, you hit the record button on your voice note app and force yourself through the chorus of the song.

Without a second thought, you send the audio file in your text thread, closing the app immediately and locking your screen.

Your POV

You’d been home from band practise for all of five minutes when your phone chimed.

Jake

You felt bad for avoiding him as much as you had been, but you truly didn’t know how to navigate the situation. You wanted nothing more than to reconcile, but your stupid brain was holding you back. Opening up your messages, you notice an audio file.

That’s odd…

The sound of a guitar rings through the room as you clasp your hand over your mouth. Then, in his velvety smooth rasp, he begins to sing.

Must I go bound, and you go free?

Must I love another, that never loved me?

Should I act such a childish part

As to love another, that would only break my heart

Tiny splashes hit your phone screen as it sits heavy in your lap.

Must I love another, that never loved me?

A sob wracks through your chest, then another. The thought of Jake believing you don’t love him, or ever have, is shattering you into a million tiny pieces. You hear Kat sprint into your room, throwing her arms around you once she reaches your bed.

“What?! What’s happened.”

You say nothing, passing her your phone still open on the audio file. She presses play and listens in horror as the lyrics echo from your speaker.

You sit in silence for a few moments, Kat holding tightly onto you as you let your tears flow. Your chest heaves with the force of your emotions as you try to catch your breath.

“I- I’ve… hurt him.” You sniffle.

“Baby girl, you’ve both hurt each other. I think it’s time you talk.”

“But he’s on the other side of the world.”

“You can’t keep ignoring him. You love him.”

“I don’t know what to do.” You peer up at her, your lashes wet and nose snotty.

“Let’s start with cleaning you up.”

Kat’s POV

Once you’ve finished soothing Y/N’s face with a cool, damp cloth, you put her into bed and stay with her until her breathing evens out and she’s sleeping soundly. You then creep out of her room and into your own, closing the door behind you. Pressing the contact of the person you think will be the most help in this situation, you bring your phone steadily to your ear and listen as it rings twice before a voice answers.

“Kat? Is everything ok?”

“Uhhh, not really. Jake decided to send Y/N a voice clip of him singing a song I’m assuming he’s written for her… it’s really fucked her up. I just put her to bed.”

“Shit. He’s been off the rails recently.”

“How are you doing?”

Josh audibly sighs. “Not great. She wont talk to me, at least not properly.”

“She’s hurting and coping with it by pretending it’s not happening.”

“I know. I just miss her.”

“She misses you. Both of you.” You pause, thinking through your options. “I think I had a breakthrough with her tonight, and if you can help me pull something off, I think it should work.”

“I’ll do anything.”

“She’s playing her first show next week, I know she’s super nervous about it and I think having you both here would make her feel a lot better. Even if she won't say it herself.”

“Are you sure she’ll want us there?”

“I’m almost certain. It’ll give her and Jake a chance to hash things out too, and she can’t run far here…”

“Ok, consider it done. Send me across the details and I’ll make it happen.”

“Thank you, really.”

“No, thank you. I appreciate it.”

“Bye, Josh.”

You throw your phone down onto your bed, hoping your judgement call will pay off.

Your POV

Show day.

You rub your clammy palms against the fabric of your mini skirt, feeling a wave of nausea roll through you. The temperature in the makeshift ‘dressing room’ of the dingy bar you’re playing in is uncomfortable, your heart thundering in your chest as you try to take calming breaths to centre yourself.

What would Josh do?

That was a stupid question. Josh was his own entity, commanding the attention and adoration of all who bore witness to him. His voice captured the audience in a trance-like state, his stage persona being one of the greatest that you had the privilege of witnessing. If you could even channel a quarter of that tonight, you’d make it through.

Think like Josh. You can do this.

“5 minutes until we’re on.” Cassandra calls, beaming at you. “You’re gunna be great.”

You take one final look in the mirror, making sure your makeup is as decent as it’s going to get, then walk towards the entrance to the small stage. As you peek around the corner, you can see a crowd has formed. It wasn’t huge, but definitely more than you expected.

“Ok, it’s time.” Bella, your bassist calls out.

They all take their places on the stage, leaving you last to come out. You grab onto the mic stand, taking a deep breath.

“Good evening, thanks for coming out tonight! It’s so lovely to see all your faces. We are The Fine.”

Your drummer, Lucie, counts you into your first song of the night. Since you were new to the band, you’d opted to only play two originals, seeing as you had to learn the lyrics and melody to their existing repertoire. As you perform, your eyes wander across the faces in the crowd. Some of them are singing along, others swaying to the beat. You spot Kat, standing towards the left-hand side of the stage. As you walk over, you notice she isn’t alone.

Jake, Josh, Sam and Danny are all there with her.

You debate running off stage, disappearing into the night and never coming back. You can’t even give yourself a moment to get over the sheer shock of seeing them, so you go against everything that you know and carry on like nothing has happened. You pretend your heart hasn’t been ripped straight out of your chest at the sight of Jake and Josh. You pretend like you aren’t launched into an internal battle of whether you should be furious or delighted. Instead, you channel every feeling into your performance. You stomp around the stage like you own it, throw yourself down onto the floor with Cassandra as she launches into a guitar solo, and fling your arm around Bella as she sings backing vocals into your mic. When your set is over, you bow to the ground and express your immense gratitude to them for watching you play, then bound out the back, giggling and shrieking with your band members.

“That was fucking sick! You were on fire, Y/N!” Cassandra grabs you, pulling you into a hug.

The rest of the band gather round, echoing her sentiments.

“That was so much fun, I forgot how much I enjoy being up there.” You beam.

You break your huddle when you hear footsteps enter the room, all of you turning to see Kat with the boys stood behind you. Kat runs to you, her arms open wide.

“I knew you could do it!” She roars, throwing her arms around you.

“What did you do?” You whisper, your smile fading slightly.

“What needed to be done. Go see them.”

You peel yourself away from Kat, making your way over to the group.

“Fancy seeing you here.” You give them an awkward smile.

Sam is the first one to step forward, grabbing onto you and hugging you tightly. “You were amazing, Songbird.”

Danny joins in on the hug, his strong arms circling both you and Sam.

“Killed it!” He grins.

The three of you look over at Jake and Josh, both of their stances cumbersome. Sensing the tension, Danny and Sam walk across to the rest of your band to join the conversation.

You flit your eyes up to the twins. “Thank you for coming.”

Josh gingerly steps forward, testing the waters. He holds his arms out in front of you, so you oblige. He wraps his arms around you, his hand rubbing softly on your back. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” You whisper.

“Not just me, Jake too. Go, speak to him. We can catch up. I missed you, Songbird.”

“I missed you too.”

He joins the others across the room, leaving you and Jake alone.

Your eyes meet, then Jake finally speaks up. “You really were incredible. Such a natural up there.”

“Thank you.” You give him a small smile.

“Are you ok with me being here?”

“I mean, it was a shock at first. But yeah, I am. I missed you.”

He moves closer, but stops in his tracks. “I missed you too, so much.”

You decide to be the one to break the tension, easing slowly forward until you’re right in front of him. He clears his throat, rubbing his face with his fingertips. “These past few weeks have been hell. I’m sorry for dropping that audio clip on you, I’d had too much to drink and clearly wasn’t thinking straight. I just don’t know how to function without you. I feel like a piece of me is missing.”

Your hands find his face, lightly cupping his cheeks. “I do love you. I never stopped. I’m so sorry for hurting you, for leaving like I did. It was cowardly.”

“No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted. I’ve never felt this way about someone before and I let it get to me. I understand if you never want to see me again.”

You pull his face towards yours, kissing his lips softly. “My life without you would be pretty bleak.”

He mirrors your actions, taking your face in his and pulling you into him, kissing you deeply. You both break from the kiss, your chests heaving.

“God, I’ve missed this.” He breathes. “I need to know though, is this over?”

“If you’ll have me, I’ll stay forever.”

He wraps his arms around you. “Forever sounds good.”

[kendrixtermina]

These fake pretentious posts about how that one person „would have liked Amys story better if she chose to quit travelling“ make me so mad.

For all that they throw around sanctimonious like „agency“ they really, really don’t get it.

The great thing about Amy’s story, and the reason I love it, is that it’s one big fuck you to this toxic-ass idea that „growing up“ is synonymous with abandoning your passions & becoming boring & conventional.

Which is something that sends ppl to therapy in droves regardless of gender because they quit everything that that brought them joy & focussed only on productiveness or obligation but which women get especially hit with.

At the start, she is under the illusion that her two choices are to keep her adventurous lifestyle that fits her free-spirited nature, OR to marry Rory and settle down in a conventional way, which is exactly why she is reluctant to commit & gets cold feet before the wedding.

But that supposed choice is shown to be illusory:

In the end, she can marry Rory & commit to him AND have an exciting life of adventure. Adulthood doesn’t HAVE to mean giving up your passions.

Are you seriously telling me that everyone should eventually give up a life where they see wild new things every day?

I wouldn’t. Some might decide after a while that they’d like more stability or get fed up with awful sights; – it depends on their personally obviously, but is it strange that some wouldn’t quit?

Certainly IRL many ppl have a formative wild phase in their youth & then call it quits, but there’s many that seek thrills & novelties all their lives.

Amy got a choice: Her choice was to stay indefinitely & try to balance both conventional adulthood & her love of adventure. It’s the one she makes in ‚The Big Bang‘ and one she re-examines but ultimately reaffirms after reexamining it in ‚The Power of Three‘.

Of course things still end, because everything ends (especially in a live action show where the actors have limited contract lenghts) but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t a choice – it’s just that, if you chose to stick it out to the bitter end, that logically means that eventually circumstance is gonna hit. (As it did for Rose, Donna and Clara, who also preferred to stay indefinitely)

‚The Angels Take Manhattan‘ was really about giving her a chance to show her devotion to Rory. At the start of series 7 in ‚Asylum of the Daleks‘ we learn that she has become very aware of how much Rory is sacrificing for the relationship & how much he’s compromised for her sake when she hasn’t always been her best self to him, & that she wants to pay him back or make it up to him – but there of course she makes the very common relationship mistake of assuming what the other person wants without actually talking to them, & it ends in the temporary divorce thing, which is not at all what he would want.

But over the course of their entanglement with the Angels, he communicates very clearly that the one thing he doesn’t want is to be stranded somewhere without her, so when that happens, she goes with him so he won’t be alone, repaying his devotion.

It finishes up the whole ‚life cycle motif‘ we had going on with her, from meeting her as a little girl, seeing her grow up & get married, have a kid, try various careers, get to the point where she needs reading glasses etc. to the point that she seems more mature than the Doctor towards the end, so it makes sense to end this with us following her till she dies of old age -

That said, I object to this characterization of her as a mere victim. All things considered she had as good a life as anyone: She lived to her 80s, had a long & happy marriage, adopted a kid, finally found a job that she liked enough to stick with, & became a famous writer. Yeah, it sucks that Rory was separated from Brian, there’s some irreversible bittersweetness there, especially in what happened to River, but all in all this isn’t a sad story at all. By her own words, she & Rory were happy in the end;

It’s just sad for the Doctor cause he can’t see them anymore, & he has this whole difficulty with accepting endings. (all kinda leading up to when he gets lectured about this by Ashildr & when he meets River again he realized how much his avoidance hurt her feelings – though he gets a chance to fix it.)

Amy could accept it (at least when the alternative was leaving Rory stranded), indeed in the farewell letter they come off almost parental, like they’re more worried about him than anything else.

You gotta have some reading comprehension & separate what he believes about himself from what the narrative actually shows us.

Since the Time War he’s had this huge guilt complex, and Davros’ breaking speech in Journey’s End about how he makes everyone worse really hit him hard, especially since he’s forced to mindwipe Donna right after -

But it’s worth noting that it’s very different from what the companions themselves are shown to believe, just the previous episode Rose was talking about how he had a positive influence & most & Donna says she’d rather die than have that impact erased.

He was gonna go at it alone after losing Donna, but that went very badly, & then he’s slightly out of it from the regeneration & hitting it off with Amy & his resolve crumbles.

Quite the opposite from how that poster characterizes it, he tries to extricate himself multiple times & it’s the Ponds who aren’t having it, & say, „Nah dude, you’re our friend, you’re part of the family“ & actually that’s beautiful. Even after she gets married he’s still her friend, & even after she comes to see him more realistically & less through a lens of admiration in the God complex, he’s still her friend.

[whichstiel]

A Christmas Prince II

I haven't even watched THAT many Christmas or other holiday movies yet this season, but I just vividly dreamed an alternative sequel to the Netflix's A Christmas Prince.

The movie began with them divorced after a short but rocky marriage. The magnifying glass of royalty charred them both and they parted ways amicably (but also obviously heartbroken).

After the opening recap monologue where she talks about her whirlwind royal romance and subsequent heartbreak (disclaimer: I haven't watched the movie in at least a few years - what even happened in it?) we cut to her leaning in to kiss her new girlfriend. (That's right, Netflix says bisexual rights!) They're ready to spend their first Christmas together. Her new girlfriend really wants to introduce her to her parents when the whole family gets together for the holiday. It's bittersweet for our heroine but she tries to move on.

But Amber (I just had to google her name, shut up) gets a call from her Journalism Boss, the Boss of Journalistic Sources. The crown jewels from her former lover's kingdom have been stolen!!! And there's nobody better to cover the news than Amber.

Amber breaks the news to her new girlfriend buuuuuut also obviously makes a big terrible lie out of it. Instead of "sorry, babe, I need to work," she tells the girlfriend that she can't meet the parents because her Christmas surprise is an all expenses whirlwind romantic trip toooooo ALDOVIA. Her girlfriend is apparently NOT a news reader, connects no dots, and packs her skis, baby!

They arrive in Aldovia. Amber tries to spend the whole time wearing slouchy hats and sunglasses, so that nobody in this tiny, fake European monarchy will notice its famous former queen. Hijinks happen. She probably gets recognized by the butler, or something, who secretly plots to "accidentally" reunite her with her former husband who has been pining for her this whole time.

The girlfriend is a sweet but lazily written cinnamon stick who is mainly in the movie to be holiday-card cute and super sweet to Amber (while Amber spirals after glimpsing the Prince - er, King? IDK). We want Amber to reunite with her lost love but also? Girlfriend is sweet like kitten? Must protect??? Maybe this will be a Frozen situation and the girlfriend will turn out to be a total Hans.

Amber is trying to focus on the case - er, journalism story. WHO STOLE THE ROYAL JEWELS? She is only in the country for this reason! She definitely does not find herself comically hiding herself in hedgery to spy on her prince! Especially when a princess comes to town looking to give away her rose, if you know what I mean.

This part of my dream is a little fuzzy, which probably means it doesn't actually exist. So let's have a little fun and make it up.

We can throw in a...baking contest. How about Amber goes undercover as a contestant to sneak into her former home and nobody will recognize her at all because, uuuuuuh, she just has "one of those faces?" (Her bakes are terrible.) She tells her boss that she's only in it to find the jewels and save the prince's kingdom cover the news story.

While Amber is living her worst life, her actually still pretty new girlfriend is busy being a solo tourist of Aldovia. We get what could be a sad montage of solo Christmas card moments (decorating cookies at the local snowy farmer's market stall, holding baby bunnies at the Pet Palace Emporium (the bunnies wear little fake poinsettia bows), and drinking hot chocolate while looking at CGI snowy mountains). The thing is, she's not sad about it. Girlfriend is having the BEST time. It keeps things light for this Netflix romance and we don't feel too bad for girlfriend. She is in a stale three month relationship and all she has is this amazing overseas vacation to show for it!

Amber ends up getting discovered at the palace by the prince. He pulls her into a lavishly red and green decorated room to hold a hissing conversation about why she is there, is she there because of this princess interloper, does she want to get back together, does she miss him too, has she happened to spot any very shiny rocks anywhere?

They decide to solve the mystery together before parting ways FOREVER. One last adventure! Hijinks ensue again, and we're made to suspect the interloping princess, the mysterious relative of the prince who just so happened to be visiting and may be trying to steal his throne, and probably a mysterious shopkeeper who bears some resemblance to Santa Claus and keeps showing up unannounced all over the movie.

While they try to find the missing jewels, Amber and the Prince fall back in love. Or, realize they never fell out of love.

Amber breaks up with her girlfriend - probably during the baking contest - and runs off to stop the prince from getting engaged. It turns out the princess interloper is nowhere in sight and the prince is just...staring out over the mountains, longing for Amber.

Finally, we get back to my dream. The snowy garden is full of twinkling lights and Amber and the prince lean in. Turns out they never stopped loving each other. They vow to let nothing get in the way of their love again. It's time to get married again! They can overcome anything including Journalism and Jewel Thieves! Will their marriage crumble again?

That's probably for next year's sequel.

The cinnamon-stick girlfriend soothes her sorrow by heading back to the Baby Animal Emporium to snuggle more bunnies. The spurned Princess shows up, looking to soothe her heartache with some, uh, bunny snuggling as well. I guess they're going to be featured in the spinoff movie?

Oh, and what about the JEWEL THIEF? We almost forgot about the mystery sub-plot! A squirrel lumbers across the yard while Amber and her prince reaffirm their love. It's...dragging a ruby pendant. They follow the squirrel and find the entire treasure trove of Aldovia shoved into a hollow tree. The thief was small and furry and there's no threat to the kingdom after all! Let's turn to the camera and laugh, share a kiss, and.......fade into snowy mountains while a generic Christmas love song plays us out.

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

Okay so since I read Manhwa's or however you spell it I can't help but think of that setting for the YV boys. Think of all of these as AU's bc I have too much brain space to day dream.

Like the trope of the cold Duke of the north bc I'm a slut for that

For our Cold Duke

Rook is the child of some type of noble but was promised to the crown prince bc they were child hood friends. But the crown prince is shitty bc why not?

So since the crown prince is being a dick they go to the cold Duke of the north bc he's the only person they trust to protect them from rumors and scandals.

They obviously make a deal with auron since no one trusts or likes him they give him information of things the crown prince is trying to do to him that they overhead. Auron uses this to his advantage and marries them.

Think my in laws are obsessed with me for this story. Bc everyone at Aurons mansion ends up loving Rook bc they try their best for them and its amazing. Rook fixes up the mansion to be more lively and even helps Auron around with political things bc that's the reason why the crown prince kept Rook.

But the crown prince tries to 'win' them back. Dosent work it gets him punched by Auron bc the Prince insults Rook and grabs them roughly. Auron also knows everything he did to Rook and had been waiting to fuck his shit up.

Faust comes to check up on Rook since that's his in law they're awesome how dare thus lowlife hurt them. Rook for some fucking reason dosen't see how Auron loves them and Faust smacks their head basically and says dude he's obsessed with you?!

In the contract they did it said don't fall in love. And we all saw how that turned out. So Rook rushs to him and asked for a divorce Auron shocked says why? And Rook confessed their feeling and Aurons does too and it's all Mushy then Faust says told you. He gets yelled to get out and the new couple plan their own personal wedding.

For the bittersweet boys:

But also like a isekai one where it's Boo helping their otp Seth and Al get back together and fix their relationship. Take it how you will if both boys break it off peacefully and you get with one of them or it's a poly thing bc slay either way.

All three of then can be noble or commoner bc why not? So in the og story Seth and Al have a fall out but Boo is devastated by that bc it shows why both sides why they did what they did to eachother. There was a character the one boo ended up being was Al's partner Seth kills bc he wants Al back it was suppose to be a tragedy story about a man lost in love.

So bc of tropes Boo got hit by Truck Kun and wakes up younger think like....late teens? Where everything of Seth's dad started talking shit. Boo tries to act normal but both boys kinda see through it but not really? Boo who's parents are food people starts talking about how Seth's dad is a dickwad and wants him safe.

Seth goes between both houses to not make him go off to the traveling thieves that Jessie go's with since Boo's parents own a bakery he worked there since you get and Al's parents also help Seth out.

One day at the tavern Boo goes to it and smacks the shit out of Seth's dad and tells him off throwing out all the dirty laundry they know of him. All the people there know Boo is a good kids bc of their parents and start to question why Seth's dad did all of that. Boo then looks him in the eyes "If you every try and say some shit about MY boys I'll take your fucking teeth you pig!" And stalks out of the tavern to be with their boys.

Boo is on the sidelines helping their relationship bloom healthily as they get older. Seth's dad works on himself and Al's parents DO died but naturally. It was sad but both boo and Seth were there.

When all three got to adulthood the boys wanted to leave the town for the big city and asked boo if they wanted to come. They do and both Boo and Al run a shop together while Seth helps work unloading products and shipping. Slowly the boys either come to realization they don't want to be together tor want Boo to be with them too since Seth scares away the admirers that Boo had and Al throws away the presents bc that's their friend no one is good enough for them!

The ending can be taken as whatever everyone wants.

For our pizza rat

Casper is the villainous for a story and just dosen't want to die bc that happened so much. They also fall for a particular servant boy who grew up as their play pall when they were younger. Charlie's parents could have been servant's for Casper's and became friends but sadly Casper's parents couldn't keep them since they had to marry Casper off to get money.

Casper not loving the Duke they were married off too. For drama it's Auron. But Auron is in love with a maid and to fix this Casper demands a divorce and Auron is happy to do so. So Casper gets money and is trying to win Charlie back but miss compunction bc Charlie thinks he's not good enough for them bc they were married to a Duke and was a Dutchess. But Rook helps Charlie to see hello you dumb blond they love you.

It works out bc Casper runs to Charlie at an event and kisses him saying they were always in love with him. Auron takes this as a chance to show everyone that both of then weren't happy in the relationship and are in love with different people. So it's all good. They have a happy time bc Casper and Charlie now work for Auron and Rook since Casper can help Rook with their duties of marring Auron.

Can you tell I read too much or Manwha's?

[blog-of-hubris]

Choujin X Chapter 35 ~ To The Future..

Tokio flying to his training destination, Iwato. (It’s 10 days away by train.)

The newest chapter of Choujin X has become my favorite one in the series so far. Tokio’s coming of age story has been one of the best I have read in recent years, and I’m not surprised due to Sui Ishida being the mangaka. I’m just utterly impressed with how this chapter was handled, so bare with me as I express how GREAT this chapter was.

“Since I might try to lean on them again…”

The first thing I want to talk about is Tokio’s personal journey through this chapter, leading up to him leaving Yamato. All of it is somewhat bittersweet, as we see Tokio try to explain to his sister his idea to quit school – to no avail. She outright doesn't accept it, even talking to him in a condescending tone, throwing the fact she and his father pay his tuition. This type of attitude is a crucial enabler to Tokio's sense of self depreciation, and it was what kept him from being his true self.

This isn't to say that his sister doesn't want the best for him, nor doesn't want to support him; it shows that she never understood Tokio's true potential (neither did Tokio). Since his sister has not seen nor understand what Tokio has experienced in the past few months, it makes since she would be adamant against him quitting school.

I think what also makes this moment difficult for Tokio is that he doesn't want to scare his family. When his sister asks what he wants to do, he thinks of Zora, but doesn't say anything out loud. It's a heavy burden to tell your family you are leaving, but not be able to really explain why. It makes him look indecisive, and clueless to where his life is going, but it's quite the opposite. Everything Tokio has experienced since Ch 1 of Choujin X, has built him up for this moment.

Due to this difficulty, Tokio seeks some type of confirmation for his goals through Shiozaki, which represents Tokio's decision to stop relying on Azuma and Ely. He doesn't go to them to decide if he is really going to quit school; while he contemplates, the latter discuss if he's really going to leave between each other. I think it's incredible how Ishida is writing this trio and their dynamic. I won't say too much in this section, but Tokio's talk with Shiozaki showed that he no longer wants to lean on his friends. He wants to fly high on his own. I admire this in Tokio, because it shows how full circle he has come. I have so much more to talk about with Tokio's Growth, but I'll save that for a post of its own soon!

(The fact he wanted to go to where the choujin crime rate is at its highest is insane. Drastically different from what the tokio we were introduced to would do.)

Tokio's biggest weakness was his reliance on others. He has fully recognized that now and in a very sad moment, literally excludes his friends from his decision proves how serious he took this moment of training. He was not only prepared to train his powers, but his own personality as well. It was great seeing Tokio fly high in the sky towards his future, and also towards the person he always wanted to be.

(The conversation with his dad was amazing, and I want to talk about that as well, but I'd be rambling on forever, so I'm saving that for tokio's growth meta)

Azuma & Ely's Growth

Azuma & Ely (Timeskip)

The thing that surprised me the most about this chapter was the montage that showed Ely and Azuma's new dynamic. It is incredible that Ishida decided to take away dialogue for the second half of the chapter and just show a montage of their reaction to Tokio leaving and their decisions after. It adds heavy dramatization to every thing drawn, making you pay attention to every detail. Ishida's symbolism shines through with the bird's nest being drawn to represent the trio, but I feel like this montage showed us exactly what we needed to see to understand their growth.

Azuma takes Tokio's leave the hardest, seemly (makes sense) due to the bond that the two shared through their childhood. I think what really stings for Azuma is the deepening of Tokio's “difference”. I think Azuma has accepted that him and Tokio were made differently, however Azuma still longs to be a Hero with him. Azuma went from seeing Tokio as a secret rival (and his protector), to realizing that Tokio didn't need a hero. Now he wants to be by Tokio's side as he gets stronger, but Tokio cannot do that because of how strong his self depreciation is.

That's what makes Tokio's leave so bittersweet. You are proud his is growing, but you understand why it hurts Azuma and Ely. Azuma saying, “Is that something you can only do by quitting school?” shows that Azuma wanted Tokio to stay by his side. The truth is, Tokio does need to quit school to achieve this, because he isn't talented in the way that Azuma is.

Based on the way the montage was drawn, it seems to me that Ely and Azuma spent some time separate from each other initially after Tokio left. That was until Ely seemingly required help to study. I love seeing them become closer, developing a relationship with each other. It would suck for them to experience all of these crazy events, to treat each other like strangers.

(Not to mention the political campaign that was shown in the montage as well. It seemed like a huge thing in the aftermath of Omega Tower.)

Ely goes back to her hometown to speak to her grandfather then seemingly flies back to Yamato, a beautiful subtle parallel for Ely and Tokio's characters. We see Ely interested in buying a phone, so she gets a job at McDonald's (lol), and that's where she runs into Azuma again and the two hit it off like old friends. We even get a bit of the two doing martial arts training together, on top of seeing Azuma's ability to create a gun with his ability. I loved all of this, especially seeing Ely getting into some martial arts because her theft ability would be insane if she had strong martial arts skill behind it. (Not to mention what she can do with the smoke). Seeing her and Azuma looking like they have hit their young adult stage is giving me chills. It's hard for me to tell how much time has passed because they look like they've put years on, lol.

To The Future..

It is unclear to me how our trio will reunite after this separation period, but I'm extremely excited for it. So much has happened, and even more has happened off-screen. How will Azuma and Ely react to seeing Tokio again? But also, will the next chapter take us straight to a reunion, or will there be some time apart, so we can see Tokio's growth alone? I'm Ishida will have the perfect way to bring everything together.

Tell me what you thought about this chapter in the comments!!

[nightmarist]

now that i actually have a minute let me go on a (positive) tangent about how much I Loved the epilogue party.

I love that its so sweet and silly for Grandpa Withers to throw us a reunion party. I did a version letting Karlach die, and a version where we went to Avernus. In the death version, he asks us several questions about us and how we're doing, about her absence, and how much we miss her, and even makes a Joke in order to help us feel better. It was genuinely the sweetest thing for the bag of bones.

I howled and wanted to throw something in pure joy when Halsin gave us a whittled duck. I WANT that duck. I want to paint it. It's so sweet he gets to have fun with the kids under his ward and his version of balance isn't pure nature, it's the challenge of nature and civilization working together.

My Shadowheart got her parents back and I just love that she decided to live on a little abandoned cottage with them, making apple cider. Getting a letter for her from Nocturne was lovely, I hope they could be friends again someday.

I LOVED that Wyll decided to be a ranger. I think that suits him so well. I want to do a new run with him as a ranger - I don't think I've ever played one, even in DnD so I don't know how they work, all I know is they get animal companions and "favored enemies" which I think suits his folk hero and adventuring background well. I also just think its the cutest thing he was SO excuted to share his stories and adventures with us, he gives you the Biggest, Wettest Puppy Eyes known to Faerun and asks "Please?" if he could tell you a story. I thought I was going to die.

In my Astarion Romance Ending, and sadly Karlach dies, I initially chose I wanted to help him find a way to walk in the sun again (and tbh I guess it depends on your DM but Wish or True Resurrection could possibly do the trick to cure vampirism, but "cure vampirism" and "stand in the sun without dying" are two different asks, Wish might be able to fix the former if some enchantment or enchanted item doesn't). Anyway, it was interesting to see him a little excited if not desperate to want to look for a potential aid. In the Avernus ending I loved that he accepted the shadows and darkness as part of himself, it was a nice juxtaposition without necessarily making it "bad" for the player and him to want to help him walk in the sun again. It was rather bittersweet to see him in an ended romance but still call you pet names.

My Gale became Dekarios the Divine, the Galerian God of Ambition. I tried to find a way to prevent it but it seems te only way (I think, anyway) is to prevent him from acquiring the Book about Karsus. Every permutation led him to becoming a God, and it was so cold. I LOVED this ending, as much as I hated what Gale became. It really turned the dial up on his hubris and ego. He hadn't bothered to even visit his mother, and Tara (rightfully) scolded us, and asked us to visit his mother to "hold on to" the old Gale. It was really sad. As a Warlock, and my Tav being Ambitious (and would have encouraged Astarion to Ascend if it were not for a bug preventing the ritual) he asked Gale if he could potentially be patron / find a better patron. Gale said it would take a few millennia for Ao to allow such direct contact. And it was Alarming to hear (and fascinating) that he has worshipers primarily located in Thay.

I have NOT seen Gale's alternate endings yet, I'll be doing more playthroughs as soon as I figure out who tf I want to play next.

My Lae'zel became the new diplomat betweeh the two Gith clans, to unite the sky. I was obsessed with I saw the opprtunity to give her that. When it came up as an option after orpheus (whom I convinced not to die after he became an Illithid), i wanted to give that woman Everything. So I encouraged her to take up the sword and Orpheus' offer and I felt SO PROUD when she called his dragon(s) and stood on one's back like she'd been admiring since Day Fucking One. SO. PROUD.

I saw two separate letters from Dammon depending n Karlach's alive-or-dead status. He sends his condolences to us if she died and blames himself for not trying harder, dedicating his life to working with Infernal Iron. If he's alive, he asks s to ask Karlach to write to him, its very simple but I think it's so sweet. She's just so fun and happy, and relays to us that there may be a way to fix her engine with blueprints she's found the location of, which sounds so hopeful without actually giving us a "canon" (similar to astarion's "maybe there's a way to walk in the sun" - i prefer the ambiguity than total fix-its). The hope feels better than the confirmation, tbh.

It was also interesting, i think, that with the a non-karlach romance there's the addition of after I help Karlach with her engine in the aforementioned fixing plot she's found, I could potentially return to Astarion's side so it's a lot less dreary feeling like we're both permanently trapped in the Hells and instead the hopeful promise of a future where Karlach can return to the surface alive and forever well, and we can return to our loved ones.

This directly connected to one of the new Raphael epilogues - I LOVED how threatening Raphael was with it. On one hand, Asmodeus would tear him to shreds if he tried to overtake the Hells even with the crown, that I feel is inevitable. But either Gale as his Ambitious Patron of sorts, or perhaps as a distraction (remember: even gods can die) tearing apart the pantheons, he could very well take advantage of that to overtake Asmodeus, I think. It seems even more on par with his style of planning, he seems very min-maxed when it comes to working towards a goal - the less he has to do himself, the better.

YOU CAN HUG THEM. I talked to Halsin first and I screamed when "you look like you need a hug" came up. My god. I went to shadowheart after and saw you could hug her, too, and I wasn't expecting it, I genuinely just thought it'd be a Halsin thing only bc he just seems like the obvious "gives good (bear) hugs" choice. Oh my god you can hug your party members. I lost my fucking mind.

Also, Milil..... very nice little lore, I loved how excited he got when we passed our check if we knew who he was. The floating instruments around him was a lovely little touch.

Getting letters and newspaper clippings from all our saved comrades was incredible. I Liked everyone's letters yes but i was MOST excited and happy to hear from our tieflings after they've been through Literal Hell and back. Rolan got an interview, Lakrissa bought Alfira a house and dedicated a plaque to us for their music school, Bex and Danis opened a bakery together. The tieflings collectively built a whole new district for themselves in Baldur's Gate. It'd be excellent for comradery - that they can share with one another as a tiefling community, weave a rich tapestry of tiefling culture, to have people to be safe around, and people who know what its like whether theyre from Elturel or not.

ZEVLOR MY BELOVED. I was so happy to hear from him. He said his hands shook the whole time he stayed at the temple "with the other veterans" - other tiefling hellriders - and it was rather bittweserrt, both inspirign an sad to read his hands only stopped shaking when the city shook, and all the Rider paladins restored their oaths by being devoted to preventing Baldur's Gate from becoming the next Elturel. He said "Come see us, when you can" OF COURSE Im going to visit, oh my god. It was just nice to hear he's doing fine and is volunteering at the temple that helped him.

I loved the epilogue so fucking much. It felt really nice.

I like to think that our heroes do it often, maybe annually or just casually see each other on adventures. maybe an occasional "Hey, I'm on a bit of a quest and need the expertise of my favorire [class]" it felt so cozy.

Did Withers put up all those decorations himself. I Love the old bag of bones so much. He just wanted to give us a little party. Let me hug Withers please he deserves it.

[burstofastar]

Tekken — Random thoughts

It was something that many of us were waiting to happen in a new chapter of the Tekken series, and for a long, long time. And... no, I'm not referring to Jun's return, because although her story has been unfinished since Tekken 3 after Jin's introduction; I didn't care much if she didn't come back this time again.

I'm referring to the inevitable confrontation between Kazuya and Jin. A fight that was destined to happen, and that seems to be definitive considering the first reveal trailer for Tekken 8, which reminds us a lot of the final battle between Kazuya and Heihachi.

However, I find it terrible that devs have neglected Kazuya too much as the main antagonist/villain, an event that began in Tekken 2. But with these latest occasional trailers, reveals and sneak peaks, I have some hope that the developers will give him more backstory and development. The bad thing? It's just that they do it at the moment when Kazuya will probably die... due the last battle, where just one stands up (as shown in the very first trailer of Tekken 8).

I'm not taking anything for granted yet, but it's hard to figure out what will happen. Or at least in my case, I am not very adept at making many speculations because I like a work (be it a video game, a series, a movie, a book, a comic, a manga, etc.) to surprise me.

What I do hope for is a bittersweet ending, hopeless at a certain point but that at some point a victory can be achieved for only one of the parties.

Let the villain be a villain, he doesn't need to be redeemed if most of what we saw of him has never shown a hint of regret for everything he has done, because he willingly preferred to let himself be carried away by the blood curse and embrace his inner Devil. Which, of course, doesn't mean that I don't empathize with Kazuya, because... Come on, who could stand to have such a sad and terrible childhood because of Heihachi? Those foundations made Kazuya what he is, and while he may be suffering (which I don't deny either), his mentality remains the same: that of conquering the world to prove to himself that he is stronger, even than his own insecurities and weaknesses.

Kazuya was an antagonist in Tekken 2. He was absent in Tekken 3. He was a secondary antagonist in Tekken 4 (since Heihachi was first). He was a secondary antagonist with Heihachi in Tekken 5 (since Jinpachi was first). He was a tertiary antagonist with Heihachi in Tekken 6. (because Jin was first, and Azazel second.) And he was a secondary antagonist in Tekken 7 (because, in my opinion, Heihachi was first).

Not to mention that his endings, although they are not canon, continue to show his aggressive, dominant and diabolical side: in Tekken 2, he uses Heihachi as a human shield to neutralize Devil; in Tekken 4 he takes possession of Jin's Devil to achieve his goal; in Tekken 5 he kills Jinpachi without remorse, in Tekken 6 he kills Jin and claims the Mishima Zaibatsu. Special mention is given to his ending from Tekken 1, where he throws Heihachi off the cliff, and from Tekken 7, where he throws him into a volcano.

Would we all do the same in his situation with the damn old man? Probably yes, but this also doesn't stop Kazuya from continuing his rise to world domination, no matter who stands in his way... even if it's the son of the woman who once showed him compassion and stood by him, trying to cure him during the Second Tournament.

Upon being resurrected (as shown in Tekken 4), Kazuya is no longer able to turn back his ambitions, as he is practically completely corrupted by the Devil Gene. There is no redemption for him no matter how much he wanted it... yet not even he wants to be redeemed either. It has been seen that he only has one goal in mind, since not even the memory of Jun did anything to make him reconsider (he vaguely and barely mentions her in Tekken 6: Scenario Campaign's intro). Her new appearance may surprise him, yes, but I doubt he'll still throw away everything he's "built", because it means admitting that he's weak, in one way or another.

However, I do appreciate that devs give more meaning, depth and "ability" to speak directly to whoever gets in the way, especially Jin (as seen in the video above). This has an interesting hint of development in his person. Because even if the "irredeemable villain who will always be a villain" archetype seems to have no character development; essentially it is when given a bit of background and different interactions, for example.

On the other hand, I still don't know what role Jun will have in the plot, since my ideas wander a lot about her. However, I do believe that it will not be a vital participation. Yes important, but not so deep.

But most of all, I hope it's not something silly and stupid like everything is resolved by the power of love and everyone lives happily ever after, because it would objectively ruin Kazuya as an antagonist/villain and Jin as an anti-hero/tragic hero, and the respective paths that both have taken in the series.

After all, and quoting someone I read somewhere; it is a video game with a story, not a story with a video game. And the main thing in Tekken is fights and tragedies.

[itwasthisorthemilitary]

April 13, 2024

I knowwwww I haven't been writing 🙃

Ok Thursday night: Sughedys straightened my hair for a good 90 minutes and then knotted it up in a hair net and bandana. I was under strict instructions to not get sweaty between 10 pm Thursday night and noon on Friday. Impossible? Really enjoyed sitting there while she played with my hair. Felt like a little girl.

Yesterday was one of my favorite birthdays Ive ever had and I think it was because I went into it with such low expectations. I received an insane amount of gifts from my family. A new necklace for the party, a pair of pants, a sun hat, a new bag (all which I now have to figure out how to pack). Dena came over bright and early with my favorite coconut water and chocolates 😊 I can't explain what it was like receiving so many cards, handmade bracelets, and little trinkets from trainees who were working with whatever they had. I feel so lucky that my birthday was during PST and I got to celebrate with everyone before shipping out. Caitlin gave me a book and a postcard from New Hampshire and that made me cry. So for the morning I didn't do much of anything (couldn't get sweaty). I bought a pineapple and shared it with some people on my porch. Then. At noon it was time to get beautiful. Elianis helped me do my makeup, sughedys took my hair out of it's holdings, and I changed into my new dress. It was CRAZY putting makeup on, also it was so hot so really only eye makeup and lipstick because I was sweating so much. Yesterday afternoon felt like getting ready for prom with Audrey and Caitlin. We were singing to music, taking pictures at each of our houses, and we think the women were more excited than we were. Once we were all done we walked into the center of town for the despedida. The despedida is just a farewell party for all the volunteers and their families. Not gonna lie, having a party throw on my birthday was kinda amazing. Everyone made it such a big deal and I was looking more fancy than most. The despedida was fun, albeit bittersweet. Caitlin, Audrey, Elianis, Crisyei, and I all did the macarena in front of everyone.

After the despedida we continued the birthday festivities at my house. Liv, Sam, Audrey, Caitlin, and Carlo all came over and we played old playlists from highschool while drinking gree apple vodka out of a water bottle. The running joke is that it was actually my 17th birthday because everything in the training community feels like being in highschool again. We danced and sang and all ate cake afterwards. My mom asked if I wanted to invite more trainees and when I said no she laughed really hard. Then I called Chloe which was a MISTAKE because then I got really sad that she wasn't there too. I was sitting with these 5 people who are so amazing and two months ago I didn't know them and now I couldn't picture my life without them but it still felt like chlo was missing from the equation.

All around, an incredible birthday, I feel so loved and it was fun to dress up even if it was a little ridiculous.

Today: championship baseball game!

Audrey, Caitlin, and I all went into Chorerra with our family to watch my brother, Elian, play at the championship baseball game. Its a new stadium for the major league but for the championship game they got to play there. He was SO excited when he found out we were coming. Olivia and Sam met us there. Elian is OBSESSED with Sam so you could just see him glowing that we all showed up with his whole family. We all got super into the game...for the first 2 hours and then we were wondering why the fuck the coach hadn't put Elian in once. Elian is so good at baseball he's been asked to play on an elite team during the season, and during today's game he was not put on the field once....I asked my family and they were livid. They've had issues with the director in the past and the vibe is he's resentful of Elian and the other player who have been asked to join this elite team. Obviously I don't know the whole story but he's a child and whatever your issue is, don't take it out on him. They brutally lost the game and when we got home elian was crying because he was so embarrassed that all of us came and he didn't play. I'm still so upset about it, not that I didn't see him play, I see him play everyday, but that he was caught in the crossfire's of adults.

After the game Liv, Caitlin, Sam, Audrey and I went out for birthday margs and lemme tell you, Passion fruit margs??? They go down real smooth, especially with some extra shots. So then Audrey and I went grocery shopping...bad idea. Put me in the American grocery store while drunk, yikes. I asked Audrey if I should get the peanut butter m&M's, the sour candy, the Milano dark chocolate cookies, or the extra cheddar goldfish and she said "it was your birthday yesterday....all of them?" So that was all the convincing I needed.

Then tonight was sam's mom's birthday so I went to her party because it's our last like real night here. After some more beer and wine I ended up on top of my usual hill looking at the stars.

Not sure if you've noticed but I use some combination of Audrey, Carlo, Caitlin, Liv, and Sam in every sentence. (I miss Ahmet daily, we facetimed him for my birthday party) I'm going to be gutted and I'm one of the lucky ones, I'm keeping two out of the 5 of them. After Wednesday, guaranteed no seeing them for 3 months. It's been the craziest codependency for the last 10 weeks, followed by isolation for the next 2 years. All five of them made yesterday one of the best birthdays Ive had and I'm just going to know them for the rest of my life.

Fittingly, on my last day in the states I was up until 3 am writing a blog post. Much like I am right now on my (2nd to) last night in Los Mortales. Tomorrow is packing and saying goodbye to everyone. Pictures to follow

[icharchivist]

DGM is one of the best stories out there but the anime was a mixed bag and Hallow was a disaster. I feel like a lot of midtier or outright garbage get so much more hype because the manga gets lucky and gets a great anime adaptation that carries it to success while not bringing anything new or thoughr provoking to the table.

Oh man, yeah, definitely agreed.

like i don't even speciffically want to dig at those anime, but it's clear that dgm wasn't dealt a good hand on this one.

The first anime is really a mixed bag, i find it very hard to watch at time, the begining is a slog to get through and the amount of fillers are throwing the anime out of balance. There's very good elements in it, especially once the anime gets a better budget (i was rewatching Allen's "death" scene the other day and i still got chill from it), but it takes a lot to get through.

dgm is already a story that does starts a bit slowly, and i think the manga especially manages to pace it well because you're taken by the gothic atmosphere, and the anime slugs a bit on this regard.

dgm06 is still an old anime but yeah it doesn't hold as well as what other juggernaut of the time period who still had their fillers but managed to pace things differently at the time.

Then, of course, the fact it basically disappeared in 2010 basically had the original anime suffer from people not coming back to it in ways longer series have managed to keep a good legacy despite similar problems.

and then there's Hallow which is. really not good and it's really frustrating. It was kinda frustrating ngl to see the anime studio that gave us Hallow manage to do a really good reboot of Fruits Basket a few years later, and to see how FB is now getting its proper legacy back on track thanks to a good new version, while Hallow pretty much tanked the series by the skipping, rushing, and also by being inaccessible to newcomers.

And it's just. Sad. DGM was so influencial at the time, and even now (hell i mentioned the other day, but jjk's mangaka is a massive dgm fan (he namedropped Hoshino inside of his manga by quoting one of her dgm's author quote, calling her a genius), and so i would be willing to say the similitudes jjk shares with dgm are made on purpose. And it's bittersweet to see it's one of the most popular manga of our current time while dgm is barely even acknowledged these days), and it's just made very hard to access by how dated and clunky the anime is.

And don't get me started on how we have a massive problem regarding the translation of the manga that's. all over the place, at least as English fandom goes, in between the early censorship from the Viz translations to just how tricky dgm can be, it really makes dgm hard to access at time and it leaves us in such a weird situation.

It's just so sad.

And while i adore dgm i also don't want to build it up to anyone in ways that would get them too much expectations, or that would make the flaws more noticeable, so i don't want to say it's like this hidden flawless masterpiece, but it's also such a special manga that the fact it lost so much of his legacy with the years is genuinely tragic to me.

A good anime can really truly make or unmake the legacy of a manga, and dgm was dealt a very bad hand on this one, it's truly tragic. It's so sad.

At least the OST was a banger.......

[walkawaytall]

My Han/Leia Fics by Era: Return of the Jedi and beyond

I've written like 20 one-shots this year and figured I'd categorize them by eras, as decided on by me. Here's all the stuff set either during Return of the Jedi or shortly thereafter, listed from shortest to longest. I think the farthest in the future these get is a few years post-ROTJ, but I like to pretend our favorite scoundrel and princess lived quite literally happily ever after.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

A Tolerable Sort of Hell One-shot | 923 words | G General vibe: hurt/comfort, a bit angsty, a bit mushy, hopeful ending.

Summary: Still half-blind, still recovering from hibernation sickness, Han Solo slips in and out of the present during the hours immediately following his rescue.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Presumptuous Man One-shot | 1631 words | G General vibe: mild peril, humor, a bit of romance.

Summary: Han is concussed during a mission and has made that Leia’s problem.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Tell Your Sister One-shot | 1731 words | G General vibe: Leia reacting to Anakin's last words, supportive Han, a bit of dark humor.

Summary: Anakin Skywalker had some of the worst last words ever uttered by a human being. Leia has an appropriate reaction upon hearing them.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Reconstitution One-shot | 2058 words | T General vibe: angsty, bittersweet, a post-war exploration of PTSD and adjusting, hopeful ending.

Summary: Life after the war is different than what Leia expected. Not bad different; just different.

A Leia/Han slice of life sort of thing set shortly after the New Republic is established. Also, I think this is my favorite of everything I've written so far.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

All the Voices One-shot | 2138 words | G General vibe: fluff, mostly just a bunch of cutesy fluff involving Han being excited to be a dad.

Summary: Pregnancy causes Leia's bad dreams to get worse. The solution? A nighttime routine involving Han telling ridiculous bedtime stories to their unborn child.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Fortitude One-shot | 2610 words | G General vibe: angsty, sad, hopeful ending.

Summary: Five times Leia Organa lost everything and one time she didn't.

(This isn't exclusively ROTJ, but about half of the scenes take place during and after ROTJ, so I'm just throwing it in here.)

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Every Version of You One-shot | 2872 words | T General vibe: angsty, hurt/comfort, hopeful ending.

Summary: Leia prepares herself for the aftermath of revealing her parentage to Han.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Opportunistic One-shot | 3550 words | T General vibe: moderate suspense/peril, hurt/comfort, angsty Leia.

Summary: Leia goes rogue in Jabba's palace.

[minustwofingers]

the last chapter gave me war flashbacks, and it's sooooo things to do by alex g coded :,)

i cant believe ive been here since the beginning, and im also very excited about the new chapter and epilogue !!!!!

it's also somewhat bittersweet bc the story is ending

HIIIIIIIIII also i LOVE alex g i'm listening to things to do right now and crying throwing up screaming etc. also someone just uploaded wait for you and its DESTROYING ME because thats so y/n and ellie coded too.

also im so sad too...like it didnt hit me today until i was writing the last scene between ellie and y/n and ughhhh i just don't want to leave them! im happy i have an epilogue coming later so im not totally moving on from exoplanet but ugh this was such a special fic for me to write and its so heartbreaking that its slowly coming to an end!

anyway thank you ssoossosomuch for sending this in <3 you are so kind i love you ok im gonna go finish editing now !!

[upat4amwiththemoon]

What are some of your favorite books?? And ones that you would recommend

Here are some of my favorite books (I tried not to go overboard):

The lesbiana’s guide to catholic school by Sorona Reyes, it tells about a queer Mexican American girl navigating through new school and her family life, while doing her best to stay in the closet. I think the book is funny and emotional, because there’s so many things to relate to, at least I could. To me the characters were very real feeling, their actions and feelings, and I really liked to get to know their thoughts in a more through way.

Written in the stars by Alexandria Bellefleur is also a wlw book, but it’s more mature compared to Lesbiana’s guide to catholic school. There’s fake dating and sort of enemies to lover (more like dislike to like to love) tropes. It really pulled me in through the whole book and it gave me that feeling of wanting to just continue and continue. Darcy is hot, so very hot. That’s all.

Before the coffee gets cold by Toshikazy Kawaguchi is definitely one of my favorite books!! It’s emotional and happy and it gave me such a warm and cozy feeling. I didn’t actually think it’d be so sad, but there was always a happyish, bittersweet, end. I definitely recommend reading this and I can’t wait to read the other parts.

Girl in pieces by Kathleen Glasgow (please read trigger warnings before reading this book, as you should to every book you read). Definitely a book that hits hard, I read it in a quick pace and that was a mistake, so if you feel like you aren’t in the right mind to read something rough, you shouldn’t read this yet. No matter how sad it was, I really loved this book. Bittersweet ending, relatable characters and feelings. It tears you apart and then throws all the pieces away, and gives back like 1/4 of them :D

The girl from the sea by Molly Knox Ostertag and Are you listening? by Tillie Walden are both amazing graphic novels that throw your emotions around. Both have queer characters in them, but only The girl from the sea is an actual love story. Are you listening? has a journey through West Texas with emotional conversations between two characters and some magical twists to it. Both will always have a special place in my heart.

If you prefer non-fiction, I really liked What my mother and I don’t talk about by Michele Filgate, and Venus and Aphrodite: history of a goddess by Bettany Hughes. WMMAIDTA has 15 essays about mothers and child-mother relationships written by 15 different writers. Some of them are more negative while others positive, prepare for feeling nonetheless. Venus and Aphrodite tells about Venus’ history through time. It covers different myths, art, archeological findings etc of Venus. I’d definitely recommend this if you like about history/ancient myths.

[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: Kena: Bridge of Spirits

I'm still really enjoying the game. It's beautiful and smooth. The story, while well presented, lacks a sort of focus or clarity. Still--having a blast!

So gonna start with the story. Without much build up, you've been dropped in a forest with the unexplained goal of reaching a mountain temple--or something like that. Meet two children (that turn out to be spirits) looking for their brother, who is also a spirit. As a matter of fact, everyone I seem to meet is a spirit. There's a grumpy spirit that seems attached to the corruption of the forest, but he doesn't really want to chat all that much. So the early quests around about tracking the path of the Taro (big brother spirit).

The process of tracking down Taro is such a major chunk of the game, that I thought it was the whole game. That is, till I found Taro's spirit and put him to rest. A plague hit the village and he took his brothers into the forest. One day the mountain "cracked" and released a big explosion, sonic boom, like thing. Then he couldn't find his brothers and everyone died.

It's kinda weird...if the little brothers were also spirits why couldn't they go find their brother spirit? Instead of trying to reconnect, they just plopped around the forest chasing rots. I thought, maybe for a moment, that the game would be about putting several spirits to rest. While that seems to be kinda true--the fact that Taro and the twins takes up about 3/5 of the game--it's not really matching the pacing I expected.

The game is almost open world. They really keep you on series of maze like paths with natural barriers that wouldn't really stop anyone, but using Uncharted logic--ok sure, I can't go that way. I'm constantly reminded of Crash Bandicoot and Jak & Daxter as I play--which is a good thing for me. Anyways--if we thought of Kena like those classic 3D adventures (throwing in Mario 64), then having this open world would be great. And then you could have various spirits as quest givers. And they could send on you various tasks:

"I'm not ready to pass on without family crest" or something like that.

Then, as you helped spirits, you shattered spirit barriers giving you access to new areas. I think this would have allowed for many more stories, with a diversity of tone and sentiment--while giving you different perspectives on what happened to the village. I think that would have been better than spending SO MUCH time on a single storyline that didn't land very hard for me.

Why didn't it land? Cause everyone's dead. When the spirit twins first wanted me to find their brother, I expected their brother to still be alive, to still be looking. And then learning the fate of his brothers would have been sad, but also brought him closure. A bittersweet conclusion of yes they're dead, but they don't blame you and they're in a place with no pain or fear. Instead, everyone is dead and I don't know why they couldn't find each other.

I'm still not sure how the "antagonist" plays into this or if there's a real overarching story. It's like they wrote a halfway decent Disney movie, and combined it with a good action-adventure, but didn't find a way to meld-them.

The game is still fun and beautiful. It basically all takes place in a forest (which I love hiking in forests, so that's great). This means there's not a whole lot more than trees and rocks. BUT it doesn't look like they repeated assets and designs very much. Every area of the game looks uniquely designed and organic. It's not just prettily dressed corridors, but a conscious attempt to make each area look interesting and different.

The fighting is starting to feel a little tedious. It's not bad, but much of the game is just exploring (love it!), which doesn't leave me very prepared for the combat sections. Zelda spreads enemies through out, allowing the player to be in constant practice before taking on the more challenging fights. In Kena, by the time I get to a boss fight I've forgotten half my moves or what buttons to push.

This isn't really a complaint. I'm thankful for the combatless exploration--but sometimes the battles are so challenging that I feel like the pace suffers--as I'm not prepared for the battle. Plus, I hate the limited shield blocking and the parrying. Though I do appreciate how they've pulled a Zelda and made the weapons for battle double as puzzle solvers, like LocoRoco Cocorecho. What if they could stake on top of each other to be used as a rope: so the more you have, the higher you can reach. Or maybe use them to "fish" things out of holes and water. Stuff like that.

Finally, my favorite thing is the Rots. I love their cute hats and how they help about in different scenarios. I kinda wish more of the game was just based around collecting them and using them to solve puzzles. Kinda like

I've just unlocked a new area and met some new folks. I'm excited to see what comes next.